You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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