I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
