Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize