you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
