My cat gives me a boner
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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