I CAN MOONWALK!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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