I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
