I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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