idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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