I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
