Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
