I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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