Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
