i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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