When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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