Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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