i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
