Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
