She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
