You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
