No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
