Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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