cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
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