Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize