Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
