just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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