So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
