Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
