this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
