We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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