You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
