Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
