so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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