I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
