haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
