I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
