Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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