At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
