Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize