Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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