How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
