please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize