I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize