I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
