You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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