you guys were way drunker than both of me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
