so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
