ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
