turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
