I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize