When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
