That's intense
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
