I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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