I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
