is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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