That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
