Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
