I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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