He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
