Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
