Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
