you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
