Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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