My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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