i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
