Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
