I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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