i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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