She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
