Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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