Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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