I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
