I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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