Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
