He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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