I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
false alarm. still invincible.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
