I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
