Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
