and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
